A space where I, as an Empath, in these incredible times, describe my senses of Earth and Human Energies happening both in my inner world and in the outer, where I resolutely claim my Feminine Mind, Heart and Spirit and Wisdom. This blog is not for the feint of heart nor for closed minds, it is open to the infinite realities of this universe. I hope you join me and share with those who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Of Looshe, Archontic Tactics and Matrix Agents

*I've made a special "Note" below.

Hi everyone.

I'm up at the ungodly hour of 4;30 because I just don't want to keep dreaming. It has to do with this discussion going on via email right now.

I've been trying to do serious reassessments as I said, after the jury duty demonic notice and its effects upon this household, and I am not being feeble about this. It was a game changer for me, no choice about it. Some things about my due process here I can remember will write about, this is one for a tea or coffee, if you please. I will wait. :-)

I've been reading about how those entities and such eat our energies, looshe its called, whether it be negative or positive. I don't know. I found it hard to believe energy can be 'food', I still feel this is some kind of human concept, but I am playing with it. It is widely accepted but I still need to come to my 'knowledge' on my own.

The other day the article by Elva came in and I slapped my hand down, 'that's it, I'm tired of hearing this, (earth as looshe farm)  if there is some truth to this then there will be a clue in the name 'Garden of Eden' somewhere and I will find it now'.

So I looked.....if the gods created this earth as a habitat or garden for their food source and humanity for their food, then their name for their garden will have some clue. Even if humans think the garden is created for them, in a sense it was like a den for pigs, so let them believe it and glorify it if they must, say the gods with a smirk. I looked into the words of ''Garden of Eden''...... 'Garden' I know, so I looked into the etymology of 'Eden' and sure enough I found an old hebrew meaning ''edible delicacy''. So there it was. This earth is a garden of edible delights, but for the gods, not humans. And haven't they been saying this all along? Like the term ''to serve man''.......is a double entendre, has two meanings. This seemed to add a dimension of confirmation for me.

I'm not entirely convinced we are purely a food source because it just hurts too much to think that and I would, like they say, just kill myself, if we all knew this.

I came in knowing something else of someplace else and that was home and filled with the grandest of dignities and liberation as so natural, as of Gods ourselves but in the humblest of loving ways eternally. This I can never forget nor would I want to.


But this earth.....! is something and someplace else.


I went to bed contemplating all this as a concept trying to piece everything together. At the same time, whether playing with this concept of ''humanity as a pure food source'' was a path to truth or a path to an treasonous archontic meme, I would find out but there was a good that came of this and that is my decision to disconnect from being a loosh source, and this would take yet some more diligence on my part which I turned on brilliantly now, was on constantly, monitoring my thoughts, their quality, their 'source' and their feeling responses/reactions. I found myself discovering how much I'd been feeling intensely for so long which I already knew as not healthy due to no resolution to those things I fought for, but that the egregious unnatural constant replay of those triggering thoughts/topics/missions even as I tried to shut them off choosing another path of thinking, was suspicious more than ever.


SO I am trying to teach myself detachment of the highest order due to this looshe factor alone, and some oriental training of some other lifetime coming into play thank goodness. And this is what happened 2 days ago.


I am about and doing my dailies with mindfulness and being in the moment. I am vigilant, watching. I am seeing the thoughts, the replays, the cording and removing all day long like pulling weeds. I am on a mission. I go to bed thinking of lovely things I spent the evening doing online, and with inspiration of creativity for days to follow. I am trying to sew a jacket I saw in my minds eye and loved and since I do not really know how to sew, I have to figure it out in such a way as to make no mistakes to ruin the fabric. I've been successful often, but this time I keep making bad mistakes to the point of tears, as ruining fabric I cannot replace is not an option and I do need to feel my brain and intelligence is still functioning to my benefit, but I am tortured by flying planes grinding the air around and around for hours and I cannot think. I forego this for a while to clear up.


I am jogging again not just walking and this is increasing my energy and I am feeling much less physical pains and limber again...(all thanks to the kefir which I have no idea still how those probiotics so affected my hip joints, but that is what it is and the agony was taken away by drinking kefir. Johns mom also started drinking it after I told her and her problems in her feet prohibiting her walking much is getting better and so are her hips too, so probiotics affect people in weak areas. Just sayin' here folks, in case any others in pain may find relief in something so simple! which I wrote about in my other blog here ).


So I go to bed with my head and heart feeling nice, creative, juicy. I wake up to the feeling of pressure on my chest and not able to breathe. Fall back asleep. I wake up to archontic dreamings, just discordant stuff but is so weird that it wakes me up with its alien nature so diametrically opposed to me, my self and how I felt going to sleep. Went back to sleep to wake up again cogent to weirdness, aware of the infiltrating of my dreams, clearly. Took note, went back to sleep, and again. I took note of the weirdness even as I was dreaming! woke up and remembered the pictures enforced in my world. One was of a car I was in being driven on a highway, and there was possibility of a wrong move causing a terrible accident and I was on guard, it was close but I cautioned the driver gently to make this move here and we were good, avoided the thing, but the car behind to the right was archontically driven and they went up on the ramps into the air and turned over and were about to fall/roll upon us and I woke up again seeing how I deflected the negativity of the dream but something else caused it on their end, intended for me. Went back to sleep and again another....this happened at least 5 times. The final wake up I decided not to sleep anymore too disturbed by the dreaming attacks and the obvious interference over and over so I got up.


Had a headache and terrible backache which I haven't had for the months since drinking kefir and kombucha so this was weird. I dressed for a jog anyway. Got ready, drank my matcha, then was ready to go out but could not as the pains were telling me this was not healthy. But I had the suspicions the pains were not real, not mine, but inflicted and that if I forced the jog, it would reveal itself, as the fake ones tend to fall away. I took note of the pains in my back, legs and the headache and decided pounding the pavement was not good and I felt like lying down. This also felt like manipulation. I would do so only to let the first aspirins I've taken in many weeks take effect then I would push through the pains and see what was what. This is what I did. Shortly in 5 minutes I decided to just push through and went for the jog. I focused on my aerobics. The pains did slip away. They were not real, not mine. This is quite amazing how the pains in ones body are felt so acutely but the cause is not the body or person, but external. This must be monitored more often by people and disease and sickness and pains must be treated first as spiritual attack then medically. I stand by this!


I returned from the jog and went into the sauna as is routine. Showered and felt clean but now nauseous, something else I am not prone to.

What I find interesting is all the signs for psychic attack are present....nightmares, odd intense pains, nausea, things going wrong repeatedly, people acting badly, headaches, not being able to breath, feeling pressure on the chest, unexplained aches and tiredness, dreams of being attacked, bruises, etc, and I had them all at the same time. What is annoying is ''experts'' say, awareness of the attack diminishes it, I haven't found this to be true. They also say, the attacked has invited it in, willfully and consensual, and I adamantly say this is not true either. Especially since most of this happens while I'm sleeping, then I say WTF?!!! I neither want to be psychically attacked with any of the aforementioned symptoms, I do not consent, nor do I fear it to bring it on, nor do I feel I am a vibrational match to the sickness of attacking someone and making them sick, I would not do that, I am a healer if anything. So all that is bogus and until someone can come up with explanations that are scientifically repeatable and work for all the people, then I would ask them to please keep their erroneous beliefs to themselves and stop giving out nonsense.  I will accede to my energy field being maybe broken or torn through many traumas in life but those were not my doing either as I neither asked for men to come after me with guns, or for any to try to kill me in all their iniquitous ways I could never imagine and so my energy field is in disrepair and I do not know how to repair it. And healing from too many traumas may take more than one lifetime or efficacious healers which I have not yet met. And if all this is merely the shadow of me showing up attacking me for the purpose of ''presenting to me the unhealed wounds'' then I say this is a demonstration of demonic control and I can think of several ways that are infinitely more healing to showing areas needing healing than to continually and repeatedly do further damage! In other words, you are hurting and so the universe conspires to keep sending you those sick bastards to keep hurting you to ''show you'' that you are still hurting. This is like a person injured in an accident who goes to the hospital and they insert salt into the wounds or arsenic poisoning into your wounds and say "see? you have a wound there!" and this makes sense only in a diabolical world and makes sense only to the psychopaths who believe it. I feel wounds need care, not further wounding.

These things seemed to confirm a ton of interference for me just now and it was clearly amped up and this would make sense of the looshe thing and the timing as I was putting this directly to the test, and that whatever it was ''feeding'' on me was trying to make sure its food was not diminished!..... and I wondered for the thousandth time if this was just me for some reason or if every single person born on this planet is targeted in such a way. I also had a new thought, that there is something, someone some entity/s who are particularly plugged into me and give me those thoughts that replay with such emotions as the response, and that my passions or 'causes' I've taken up in life, while worthy and just, were 'given' to me to provide such emotional food for them? I decided yet again, I would no longer provide this and I had to go deep into places I don't tread much within myself to find the dislocation place, the disconnect from the source. Now theres a thought eh? to disconnect from the gods, the source. I found some success with this.


Now lets see what happens.

And so, the forces creep in with what seems to be, to any sleuth detective paying attention, with backup stealth tactics which seem to be all perfectly set up for them, I notice. And this time it is the matrix agent I live with who is a special mix of detachments to the point of disgusting negligence, and passivity that can be misinterpreted as a quiet or peace by onlookers, but is actually a creepy type of silence that is filled with moroseness instead of peace, platitudinous instead of placidness. There is a darkness there born of a 'woe is me and the world is fucked'-ness mixed with something else I cannot name, and I am telling you there is nothing peacefully quiet about this energy at all. It is an uncomfortable void.


I have to be careful around this person to not speak more than 4 minutes at a time for he begins to glaze over and step from one foot to the next indicating he is in pain and needs to move or walk, away..... his body language for telling me he's not there to listen to me. But since I literally have no one to speak to at all for the last 15 years, I speak to him knowing he is short on attention and interest and I must speak in short sentences, succinct and to the point, and only of very simple topics. At the same time as simple and mediocre are the topics he tends to forget the brief conversation and far too often I must repeat myself to him at some point. This is cause for madness on my end. The 4 minute expiration doesn't always work for me, he's never interested, nor does he ask questions for clarity what he doesn't understand. I test him sometimes, 'do you understand what I just said?' ... "no". He just doesn't care and merely tolerates my speaking....short as it is. I find this situation a curse, that I live already quietly as a self appointed urban monk and dont' speak often for days, and when I do it must be cut short by gross and dull contact.


So this matrix agent steps up to serve the matrix as I'm gaining on disconnecting myself as a source of loosh from my obvious and self appointed causes.


I found myself repeating myself to him this morning explaining something to him which involves him as it is about the aspirin we both take. I used to use exedrin for my headaches/migraines, but they don't make the tablets anymore and the caplets are a completely different thing which don't work. We I had to find another source and since this day I need some pain killers I thought to buy the aspirin, acetominaphin and caffeine that was the exedrin formula separately, and was explaining this to the 'agent' as he needs to know too since he takes them more than I do and complains they don't work. I repeated myself later out of habit because not only does he usually forget what I have taken great pains to explain in short time with simple words but I wanted to explain why he needed to know the plan as he takes the stuff too. I walked away to hear him mumbling in ''sssssss'' snakelike sounding hisses, and him standing there rolling his eyes. I asked him what he said, he says ''nothing''. I clearly saw and heard this so asked again, and he realized he could not get away with this one so he said 'you told me this before'. And I said 'yes I did but I am in the habit of repeating myself because you tend to forget everything'. So I reminded him of how often he forgets and he realized it was true, and my repeating was something we literally set up for him not to forget things. I should mention I loathe repeating myself to anyone about anything.


However it was brought home to me yet again, how much painstaking caution I live with, not for a worthy cause but for a slothful one, the eggshells I walk on interacting with this agent. This is torture that my brain and intellect should cower to a dull witted agent who I don't even speak with on a daily basis in this house we share. I must say though he is not a bad person and by no means evil, but there is something evil that he entertains with lackadaisical allowance. Its draining.


So......as I disconnect from the looshe of my chosen ''passions'' and ''causes'' in life, the (backup) agent is then activated and I find myself seeing this and feeling all that looshe 'stuff' then feeling myself closing down, as obviously this agent didn't want to hear me speaking again, (I'd reached my quota earlier) and I realized I needed to keep quiet even more often as dialog is not welcome.

Then I feel bad.

Looshe.

And I see a pattern.

And a set up.

And I see the farm. And the looshe is clearly a constant. And I realize, if I do not sterilize my feelings, emotions and be something I never wanted to be as I cherish my feelings and emotions, but if I do not sterilize their cause, cut the cords, I will be a constant source for the future. The past is done, and for 56 years I've been their source and I can tell you I no longer want to be and I am willing to forego my life, soul, existence to stop this. Not give it away, but take it away, destroy it myself, but no longer have it as someones sustenance or delicacy, that my life, feelings and emotions are totally a set up for farming a particular flavor of looshe, makes me sick and I would rather cease to exist.

I go to bed feeling bad at all of this, how could I not.

So a severe form of detachment needs to take place of the very feeling body I've had and loved all these years.

I feel myself beginning the shutdown of my self and life as I knew it, all for the sake of cutting off the food of something else which is darker and nastier than I can even bear to think, that my lack of existence in any form is preferable to me.

I awoke this morning to the same type of dreamscaping of the other night, every kind of torturous annoying petty nonsensical thing taking place with me as the center/receiver..... but these began immediately upon retiring early around 8:30 pm all the way to this morning....so disturbing I'd rather not sleep anymore and rose at 4;30am.

If ''they'' do not want this awareness made public then ''they'' are disturbing the wrong person. I am somehow suspecting this attack came before I decided to write this, in fact, when I was determined to find out the etymology of "Eden".

I will not be silenced. I want others to hear of these oddities and consider their lives. Life is stranger than any fiction, and in fact the truths are hidden and are the most ridiculed, ludicrous. Time proven. Live long enough and this is brought to Light.

Is this happening to anyone else? 
Please write to me, and spare me no details and no fear of taking more than 4 minutes of my time. ;-) We must talk about these things and bring them to the fore, expose and exterminate.


All this, ''if'' the looshe theory is correct and everything is proving it to be. In fact I would say it is definitely happening, but is it the whole picture?

Yet I must use numinous caution. Often, 99% of something may appear to be just that, appearance. In fact 99% of all mystery novels and movies and shows are based upon this.....the obvious and everything points to the one thing, all evidence to one thing, and yet it is the always the odd 1% that is the culprit.

So I must apply prudence. Though the looshe theory is appearing to be what is at work, and I will keep my due diligence on this, and all that causes me to feel/react/respond, from my own chosen passions to the agents who infiltrate to the manipulated dreamscapes, I still must keep an eye towards the minor unforeseen.


And what that is I don't know.


Maybe the hologram has evolved itself into a new octave, that not just produces what we are thinking and feeling, but has now the ability to foresee what we can think and feel and is producing things before we think and feel them. Maybe it doesn't even need us for thoughts anymore for what is new under the sun? nothing, and so it can manufacture ''realities'' without us. That this reality is seeming to appear to be a creation that is not quite ours, but a predicated plausibility manifested by a manipulated holographic universal intel seems real.


Maybe, what is taking place is not ours at all, but something/someone else's, creating all this chess game, moving the pieces that are us.....as they have shown those gods doing, zeus and all his minions, archons, aliens, priests, etc.....still at work here. Maybe others got in on the act here on Earth, finding such a free source of energies. None of these are new queries, but up an octave in my personal world to the degree they are no longer ideas but realities which need response.


I know one thing. I will not be food, looshe, manipulated at their will. I will watch and be vigilant, diligent of myself and all my life has been, all the passions I've had, the causes and concerns and fights taken up monitored, and though all my lovely feelings are cherished, I will not provide them up on a dish to anything or anyone else. They are mine and mine alone. I will find my Will, and My Will be Done. The divinity I feel is within my Will.


Only my will makes me a sovereign being.

*Note: I've had people wondering how and why I would reveal so much intimate emotional process in writing or otherwise as if intimacy and emotions are something I should keep private and secret. I would say yes if it warrants that in personal relationship but when it concerns all people and things the esoteric world is trying to hide to our detriment, I am all about exposing and revealing all including personal processes. We don't have time for secrets or half truths bullshit, do we?! I find the ''privacy and secrecy'' is precisely what keeps people in the dark about each other, the world, realities, etc. Because of this silence of ''politeness'' or ''conservatism'' so much has been falsely presented, people become fake, fake images presented to others while something else entirely is beneath and what is hidden festers, and I will have none of that. It is that fakeness I have been given by most people on this planet and I find it not only lacking in integrity but anything lacking in authenticity and pure honesty is fakeness that is not accidental but intended and I find intended falsehoods appalling in character, spirit and psychically. I am not that way, never have been and never will be and I do not entertain it from anyone either. This contributes to the few who enter my life as it freaks them out that I can see inside them and know the truth of them they are trying to hide, and that I can be so transparent and without fear or shame. I have nothing to hide and I am shamed of nothing. And that is why my posts are so raw, honest and real. Even reading from the privacy of your corner of your world it makes you uncomfortable, but ce la vie, it is on you, your discomfort. I am real and always will be.....raw, and transparent. Honest and clean.

Serena, Lady of the Woods
http://serenaladyofthewoods.blogspot.com/

10 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly. I'm sensing discomfort, pain, frustration, sorrow, perhaps some anger, feeling not in control. I would like to encourage you by saying, you ARE in control. You mentioned an agent you live with. I don't know if this is a "family" member, friend, long time partner etc. That detail is not really my business anyway. From what you wrote, it sounds like you are very unhappy living with this person. You don't have to answer this question here, but I find myself wondering, why do you stay, when you sound so unhappy with this agent? I don't know you or your living circumstances, but where there is a will, there is a way. This sounds like a very unhealthy emotional environment. In the past I have had what are popularly referred to as "sleep paralysis" episodes, which sound like what you have described. Very strange, frightening "attacks." In my experience, they were frequent during times when I was having very difficult interpersonal problems with a past partner, and going back to my childhood, when there was a lot of turmoil going on at home.

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    1. Lasamaritana, yes, there is no mistake, you are not sensing it, I am clearly expressing some discomfort, pain, frustration and the rest. But I do not feel not in control, or lost. I am contemplating an entire planets situations and the universal ''intelligence'' which configures such as what takes place here. I am observing it and participating both in ways I feel I can and as an observer.
      This housemate is not family, and I stay because I live here for free. I am not working and do not intend to function in the work-force of the matrix system anymore, did that, not doing it again for any reason. I grew up in New York City where I was a good matrix agent myself and it is not my way. This world does not support the Feminine ways of being, which have nothing to do with patriarchal systems of money for exchange of energy or banksters etc. I have also found very unhealthy emotional environments in family situations so its not like there is assured comfort to be found with them. There are no assurances to be found anywhere from what I've discovered from 56 years of living on this earth, and no one I have ever met is living an idyllic situation, and if they do it rarely if ever lasts their lifetime. Everything is about compromising what we are willing to do, without further hurting ourselves or another being key. When my Will to leave here for better circumstances manifests I will make that move. Believe me it is my will to move.
      My testing of this humanity as looshe theory is being proven very quickly, too quickly, even eagerly by a universe which seems to be conspiring to prove it in great haste, just to see if I'll fall apart at the seams, which I am not about to do. Thank you for reading and commenting.


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  2. I understand. We each must do, what we feel is necessary, to live our lives in peace with others and balance within ourselves (which is very challenging, absolutely). Regarding the control, I mentioned that because you referenced us (humans) as "chess pieces" being moved around by other forces. I believe no one of us has all the answers, as to the exact nature of our existence. I do appreciate your open and honest description of your theories. It's very interesting! I hope sooner rather than later you can find the living situation that best suits your needs! I hope the New Year brings you better health and balance! I hope for that for myself, as well:) Take care. I look forward to reading more posts in the future. This was a mind bender for me, for sure. I do enjoy thinking outside the box.

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    1. Thank you very much for your wishes for my improved living situation and I wish for you the same, in fact for every woman I have ever met or never will who needs to live in a manner that is in keeping with Her unique countenance, peaceful to her and in an environment that supports and nourishes her whilst keeping her safe too. Thank you again for reading and comments.

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  3. Last night again, a torrent of non stop dreams of torture and agonies....one even twisted my gut when I realized it was no dream but had actually happened. These things are happening only at night, during the day I am in good control....something happens at night, I despise that vulnerability and why I can't figure out how to mitigate it. I think its safe to say this is personal attack upon my person for ''some reason''.

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    1. after reading your blog.
      i don't feel like a clown anymore.
      thanx for sharing.
      have a nice life ahead of you and please share your blogs it helps me to understand more about the imperfection of someone is the real beauty.
      take care of yourself and don't stress yourself that much .
      and will love to meet you in future.
      after reading this i think i will be remembering this blog for a long time.
      it helps me to outcome from my own demons. <3 <3
      have a nice day.
      i hope you will get a good sleep onwards and dreams.

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    2. thanks again sam, but I keep having some nasty dreamscapes being played, and it is clear they are outsourced....sleep is cut short. I do not stress things usually, I am good at reigning myself in when I am not being messed with.

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  4. If it is a form of an attack of which ever entity than there are ways to protect your space. To me, burning frankincense before I go to bed, helps and strengthens my aura.
    Since you are an Empath, of course you will be more prone to feel attacks of any kind. If it is a more sinister entity than try the protection mentioned in Dion Fortune's book on psychic defense. Keep yourself connected to the Source and remember that we all "consume" energy or rather hopefully exchange energy with Nature, other fellow humans and animals which can be also seen as food.So I don't mind being the food as long as its a voluntary exchange. Seek higher guidance in discovering the true purpose and meaning of these attacks. Do not fight them with pills but rather try to meditate on what message these attacks have for you. Remember that all we resist, persists. There must be a message (a lesson) in this experience and being a true detective, have patience to discover it. Sending you Love & Light ❤

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    1. Thanks Antares Tara for the advise, but I am not aware of Dions technique, if you could share it, would be great. I have to say though I do mind being the food because what they are ''generating'' is bad for me. I would rather garden and offer up plantings and composted soil, that is my choice for offerings. I am not taking pills, only for the rare headache/bodyaches that come to a body that has had many "accidents" in life. I have meditated for many hundreds of hours, and I can tell you these "attacks" hold nothing positive for me except to show me they are attacks which have been going on since my birth. They have no lesson except to teach me the workings of nefarious things that are relentless and ruthless and who do not belong, they are a cancer who seek to kill. I must resist them, as I do not want to keep them invited, so I "resist". Cleansing with frankincense would be a form of resistance would it not? I do not know how much you are attacked and to what degree but I can tell you I am tired, and I do not consent for any reason whatsoever.

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  5. I found myself OBVIOUSLY under this type of "attack" as it was being shown to me unambiguously. What disturbed me the most was that it seemed my efforts to be unphased by provocative stimulation seemed to, in fact BE the flavor I was being farmed for...either that or it is even more complicated. I hope there is a way to resist!

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